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I can see that everybody thinks I’ve lost my mind just trying to figure out my life that’s why I gotta leave this town. “It’s better late than never” I know you love to say that line. But now that I’ve made up my mind you go and freak out. Maybe you can’t see who I am isn’t all I can be. Oh I’ve taken all your thoughts into consideration but I’m gonna do this my way. I’m changing the weather I’m making it better It’s just a matter of time. You’ll see I’m somebody else now not just on the outside but inside of my mind. Aliens abducted me and then they did some tests. They told me the results were this: that I didn’t value my life. Every single second that we live in breathe is a gift. It’s so easy to let that slip, so when they beamed me back down to Earth They said that from now on I had to do what’s in my heart no matter what What? Or else they’d come and implant something horrible inside of my gut, oh no no… I’m changing the weather I’m making it better It’s just a matter of time. You’ll see I’m somebody else now not just on the outside but inside of my mind.
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Interesting, I thought this page was deleted! Cool, its not. 

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I never write here anymore….maybe I should. Maybe, just maybe….

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Can’t sleep, I have been on edge all evening. Panic attack off and on all evening. This started at the gym and still wondering why it is happening! I have been stress free, so a little concerned. 

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Two, then zero. A first look…A question off guard. A dorky answer, a cute reply. Awe struck for the rest of the night.  

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I was driving home with failure and ended the night with a little Apple to apples and success. 

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Driving along I80 through the salt flats is a tiring and eye opening experience. Tumbleweeds travel for miles across the desolate salt flats to a new home. The desert does things to ones mind…bridges new ideas and taps lost feelings once had. Remember about things that slipped from your hands, because of the pressure of the world breathing down your neck. Follow your heart…your making the right decision  you belong with someone else. You deserve better, but I deserve nothing better than the opportunities I had and let slip through the cracks. In my position, I realize there were missed opportunities and the seasons is over. I did not make the postseason…I thought I would, but was sadly mistaken by my drunken mind. Someone once told me they said the Killer lyrics make them sad, and I responded they play to my mood. I like the Killers, because it is a connection with what is real in my life and that is pain. Pain builds character and it reminds you that you are alive. 

I have not written on my tumblr page in quite some time….but tonight it is necessary to release these thoughts….not of regret, but memories. 

I don’t know why I write these rambling pieces. On the bright side, it will be nice to go back and read these posts that defined a pivotal time in my life. This tumblr has been through…love gained  love lost, grief, depression, happiness, anger, decisions, ideas, hobbies, laughter, a friend, a journal, a personal documentation of my past, a platform, adventures  rants, and so much more. I don’t write these for others, but for myself.

I miss my family and friends. My inner circle friends haha! Which are quite a few, but I miss it all. I miss waking up around 2pm taking forever to get a ready for a Saturday afternoon. Walking to the Cafe and meeting up with friends talking about what have you. Playing flag football…getting ready for the game. The cool night breeze and chill of the crisp air. An interception for a touchdown, while you know a certain someone is watching. Getting in an argument with cocky soccer players who think they can play basketball, because they are D1 soccer players. Playing disc golf with some good friends. Weather challenge arguments. Crying to some good music videos late at nigh before morning class. Going hiking in the Appalachians when the morning stratus deck is still in the valley. You look out across and it looks like the ocean for as far as you can see.

I have not even seen my new niece yet…….I have not even held her and I miss my nephew that calls  me pretty much everyday wanting to talk to me. My family and all of our gatherings, church, dinners, games…etc. I could go on and on and on. That leads me to my decision to come to Elko….BEST decision ever! Everyone here is amazing and I have been training A LOT. They have a lot of confidence in me and that makes me work even harder. I have actually already made forecasts. issued some products, and issue Aviation forecasts. I EVEN WROTE the short and long term AFD before! That is a lot of fun. Well I need to go to bed, because I told myself I would go to bed earlier and I am still listening to the Killers…….Goodnight Past, and when I awake this morning the sun will be up and it will be another beginning at building a new future. 

Random the note: the HPC looks awesome and I am considering working there someday! Why you as? Because one of my childhood heroes works there! Paul Kocin! AND I love WINTER WEATHER!!!!!! 

Goodnight….Much love! 

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Another beautiful well crafted masterpiece is in my private tumblr. Oh private tumblr how I adore thee. I use the private tumblr to gold classified writings that need not be seen yet. Don’t get me wrong they need to be seen, but for now I wait. 

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I need to sleep…I have church in the AM and evening. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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